Opinion Overflow #9: "My Boyfriend and I Are About to Move In Together And I'm Looking for Advice to Head Off Co-Habitation Troubles"

Sep 20, 2017

We have too many opinions to keep to ourselves! That is, we have too many questions and we'd like to answer more of them, so that's why you're getting Opinion Overflow. Whether you want it or not.

1. Bonus 1: 'Ask the Sexpert,' a documentary about Dr. Mahinder Watsa, is screening at Bertha DocHouse on Saturday, September 23rd in London. Watch the trailer and get tickets for the screening here!;
   • HuffPost: "What India Is Asking Its Most Popular Sexpert, Dr Mahinder Watsa";
2. Bonus 2: Reminder: we're unable to interact with you to ask for more details if you send us a question through our bitly link! If you're uncertain whether you've provided enough details, it's best to email us directly at [e-mail].;
3. Bonus 3: A very lovely listener, Melody Heartfinder, offered to send some noise-canceling headphones to Listener Paige who you may remember from Overflows #5 and #7. This is wonderful! But we don't have Paige's contact information, since she reached out to us anonymously. Alas.;
4. And finally, Listener Machete Alice asks:

My boyfriend (28) of eight months and I (24) are an amazing fit for each other in every way, and we comment frequently on how neither of us realized it was even possible to find someone out there who would be such a perfect partner and make relationships feel so easy. We communicate so well, we intentionally "have disagreements" rather than "arguments," and the only two things we've ever fought over are politics (I'm far left/pro-Hillary; he's FARRR left/pro-Bernie* [note: he voted for Hillary in the general!]) and UFOs.

So we've decided to move in together in January. I currently live with my mom (ugh) since I moved back home after graduation, and he lives in a small(ish) city 45 minutes away with dirt-cheap rent (so cheap that offends me as a former Boston and DC renter), where he does stand-up comedy. We're both poor af, but that situation will gradually improve after I get a job in The New City and he saves up money from his shows.

Here's what I want to know: What tips/tricks/advice do you have - whether financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, or otherwise - to give us the best shot at making this big step in our relationship work? For more context: we're monogamous; he's a sensitive introvert and I'm a very talkative, unfiltered extrovert; he has a lot of close friends in the city but I left most of my friends behind in Boston (I get along with his friends, though); I'm taking out a small personal loan (size TBD) to cover initial rent/food/transportation costs before I get a job; we both have depression, anxiety, and ADHD, he has had a bit of an anger problem in the past, and I have binge eating disorder (we both have therapists, but I'll be leaving mine behind when I move); we both have digestive problems, although his are much worse (he has Celiac Disease), and he also has fibromyalgia... I think that's all for now.

I'm not worried that something ***crazy*** will happen that will end in a breakup, but I'm realistic and realize that sometimes things just don't work out. But I'd like to avoid a preventable breakup at all costs because I love this man and every moment with him is so much fun, even if we're just lying on the floor doing nothing and complaining about our respective health problems de jour.

Any and all advice would be appreciated!

 

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [e-mail], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [e-mail] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

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